For someone who isn’t a runner I seem to do it well.
I do well for myself. Like most people, I face a multitude of obstacles throughout my days, many change of events, decisions to be made. Some are big, some are small, some take no effort and some exhaust you. But its funny how all these obstacles effect you differently.
For some, work related conflict or barriers seem to be hard, for others its family or friends. Everyone is different in how they handle situations, and every situation at hand is different.
I’ve come to realize that I myself am a runner. Not in the traditional sense, god knows i can’t actually run to save my fucking life. Running or any type of cardio for that matter. More of a running from things that will effect my emotional well being sense. It’s funny I’ve joked for so long about not loving people or having a heart of stone, chuckling to my single self, that I think that became the actual outcome. And now I find myself pushing away people anytime they get to close. Good people that love me and have done nothing wrong. But the worst part is, I never notice until its to late.
Maybe its what I’ve seen, or all i know but I’ve finally recognized it, and I don’t think I’m okay with it. Why wouldn’t you wanna be loved? It seems silly to me that i’m 22 and just asking myself these questions now.
All I know is I don’t wanna fool around anymore. For all the other things I love in life I dive head first, I spend time working at my game, I organize my days to make sure I’m efficient at work, I spend time and dedicate myself to lots of things. Just so happens that none of them have been relationships.
Sometimes you need a smack in the face to notice these things before you can make a change..
after all, I’ve never been good at running.
thatgymgirl.
thatgymgirl. 